Love of a Family
by Carebear3
Summary: Can the love of a family help a little girl to love again? And once they help her, will she be taken away only to be hurt again? Complete!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Not mine, you know that. 

Author's Notes: I have no idea where this came from but I started to write it down and I decided I liked it. Please review, because I like to know what you think about it. 

Here I am on the way to another home, stuck in the backseat of the car while Miss Grant drives me over there with my one bag of clothes. This is probably my seventh home after ten years, and so far none of them want me. I'm too wild and mean, that's what the last one said. Yeah, I remember that one perfectly. I was only there for two months before Mr. and Mrs. Jenson decided I wasn't like their other children. Good thing too, because those kids were way too nice for my tastes. All of them with R names: Reggie, Ronald, Rachel, and Richard. I shudder to think about what would have happened to me if I stayed there.

Miss Grant is looking back at me right now, glancing over my outfit and hair just to make sure everything is perfect. She says this could be the one. Yeah, cause that's what she said last time too and look how that turned out. This family will send me back in a matter of months anyway, so I don't see why I have to dress like such a girl. She handed me a blue dress a little too big for me because I'm too small for my age and told me to put it on. I thought she was crazy, but when she started to tug it over my head, I pulled away and did it myself. Then she handed me a brush and ordered me to brush my shoulder length blondish reddish hair. "It has too many knots," she said.

So I brushed through it to make it look decent and then glanced at myself in the mirror. I'm not a vain person, and I don't usually care about how I look, but this was too much. All I could see was a little person with an oversized blue and white dress, red hair that was halfway tangled, and a set of freckles to give anybody away. I glared at Miss Grant and tried to pull the dress over my head. "Jessica, it looks good on you," she tried to say.

"My name is Jessi, not Jessica. And I don't like it, and I won't wear it."

She sighed, and for a moment I thought I had won, but then she turned to say, "I'll give you any book you want out of my collection if you wear the dress and let me brush and braid your beautiful hair."

Now, since books are one of the only things to keep me busy when I'm with someone new, I love any reading material. So I agreed and picked the biggest, most exciting book I could find from the shelf and let her dress me up like a doll. She finished braiding my hair and then handed me my bag, telling me to, "Go get in the car."

I rolled my eyes, but now I'm in the car on my way to someone new. These people I've heard about are in the military, a couple of lawyers. They got two kids, a boy who is eleven and a girl who is eight. Which puts me right in the middle even though I'm an only child. All my life I was supposed to be an only, but that never happened. I've had so many brothers and sisters that I can't count. And mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, and grandparents galore. I used to dream that my mom or dad would come get me and we'd live happily ever after, but now I know that doesn't happen.

We're pulling up to a nice little house with a pretty porch and a large yard. No one is outside except a dog, a big dog. Looks like a golden retriever, the kind I always used to want. Miss Grant motions me to open the door and join her outside. "Look, they have a golden retriever, the kind of dog you always said you wanted," she exclaims.

"No it isn't. I wanted a lab all my life," I say with a frown. 

"Jessica, try to be nice, please. These are really nice people if you'll just give them a chance," she pleads.

"Jessi."

She ignores me and goes on talking about what the people's names are as we walk to the door. "The mother's name is Sarah, but she has graciously said to call her Mac. The father is Harmon, otherwise known as Harm. And the children are Austin and Sydney. They are their biological children and you are their first foster child," she rambled on.

Better for me cause it'll be easy to shake them up with any little tricks I play. It's show time now. The mother is opening the door and the rest of them are behind her. Here I go…


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello, you must be Jessica. I'm Sarah, otherwise you can call me Mac, this is Harm, and this is our son Austin and daughter Sydney."

"Jessi."

"Excuse me?" she said as the grin stayed exactly where it was.

"Name is Jessi, not Jessica. Too girly." For some reason she smiled even wider when I said that I'm not girly. Go figure.

Miss Grant looked nervous. "Why don't we grab your bag and take it inside?" she asked.

"Whatever," I mutter.

The man smiles, as the little girl looks very unsure. This could be very easy on my part to freak one of them out. But the problem is, the boy doesn't seem to care. He could be a challenge. "Jessi, it's nice to meet you," says Harm.

"Nice? Sure, if you say so."

He raises his eyebrows but doesn't lose that smile he's wearing either. Now Sydney looks happy too. Great. All happy people. Just what I need. 

Miss Grant and Mac led me to a room that has plain white walls but a nice blue bed as well as a nice dresser and mirror. That was fifteen minutes ago before Miss Grant left. She was leaning out the door and giving me the be good look, but I ignored her and said goodbye. I just can't believe she's going to leave me here all alone. I set my bag down after she left as the mother came back into the room.

"Well, what do you think? We can paint it any color you like after you're settled in here. And just to let you know, the bathroom is across the hall, Sydney's bedroom is next to yours, Austin's bedroom is down the hall, and Harm and I are upstairs. But you know, why don't I just show you where everything is at and tell you what rules are and where you're going to school?"

"Fine," I say grumpily. I don't want her to like me and I didn't want to be here.

"Well do you need any help?"

"No I'm okay. All I have is one bag anyway."

"We can go school shopping in a few days because you'll need more clothing than that. I'll be downstairs when you're finished and I'll have Sydney and Austin show you the yard. We have a dog too, if you didn't see her. Her name is Shelby and from what Miss Grant said, you adore dogs."

I shrug and look around the room again. I have only one thing left to put up and that I have to do in private. It's a picture of my mother and father that Miss Grant gave me a long time ago when I asked her about my parents. It's my most treasured possession and I always have to be alone to put it up. She finally seems to understand that I need to be alone. She excuses herself and goes through my door. The lady is really pretty and I think she seems pretty cool. The guy and kids too maybe. But they're not my parents or my family, and they never will be. So there isn't any point in liking them because they won't keep me. I'm alone, and that's just the way it'll always be.

I finish adjusting the picture on my bedside table. The room really is going to be pretty when I paint it blue. I reluctantly start down the steps now that I've changed into my favorite pair of light blue jeans with the one hole in the knee. They're shredded at the ankles too which just adds to the charm. I also put on my favorite top, a blue long sleeve shirt with faded words that I can't read so nobody else should be able to either. These clothes are the only pair I got to pick out myself, so they are also something I treasure.

They're all hanging around the house. I can see the parents in the living room sitting together watching TV but managing to look incredibly in love. I wish my parents had been that much in love when they had me. Then maybe I wouldn't be here. Sydney is standing in the kitchen eating something that looks like some kind of string or something. From far away she looks like Mac. And Austin is sitting at the computer playing a game that looks like space age or something. Nobody is looking at me yet while I'm on the stairs. But finally, I take the last steps downwards and the parents look up at me. Harm smiles nicely and starts to get up. Instead of going in there, I hurry into the room where Sydney is at and ask her what she's doing. "What in the…?"

She laughs. "I'm eating tofu and vegetables," she says in a clear voice. I can't believe she's only eight. She seems way too grown up and tall to be eight. "Are you a meat person like mom or a health person like dad?"

"I…I have no idea," I admit. "Are your parents total opposites or something?"

"Totally. Mom likes junk food and dad likes healthy things. Mom is a marine and dad is in the Navy. They are, however, both lawyers at JAG with Uncle Bud, Aunt Harriet, and Uncle A.J."

"Are you serious? Jeez, where do you go to school? Boot camp?"

She finds humor in my sarcasm and giggles. "Nah, we go to Jefferson elementary. It's Austin's last year there, but since you're here, now I'll have someone after he's gone."

I feel like panicking. I don't want to be here that long, especially not being a big sister. This could be a problem. "Maybe," I shrug and then sit in the chair.

"Want to see our dog? She's a golden retriever and her name is Shelby. She's a cool dog, but she sleeps in mom and dad's room because she loves mom the most. Mom has a chemistry with animals."

I raise my eyebrows. Weird. But I want to see the dog, so I allow Sydney to lead me to the backyard. It's only the beginning of fall, but it's starting to get crisp outside. Shelby jumps up on me and wags her tail. I smile happily for the first time since being here.

By nightfall, we've been through household tours, dinner, and rules of the house. It's bedtime, and I hear the parents down the hall with Austin and Sydney, tucking them in like real parents do. I shut my door and lay down, knowing they aren't going to come in here, but as the door opens, both peek in. Wow, talk about surprise. "Do you need anything?"

"Nah."

"Well, goodnight sweetie," says Mac as she closes the door.

"I am not your sweetie," I growl in whisper after she's gone. But I think she might have heard me because after that I heard footsteps. Good, she won't get that close to me before I leave. I lay back and close my eyes, hoping I won't have the same nightmare I've had since I was little. I always wanted my mother to love me like Mac loves her kids. But I also knew she didn't. I lived with her for a while when I was six. During the entire three months, she and her boyfriend either ignored me or beat me. I never told anyone, not even Miss Grant that her boyfriend tried to take off my clothes or that my mother gave me a broken arm. And as much as I hate her for that, I still want be with her and no one else's parents. If it could just be my parents and I, I think we'd be the perfect family. But as I go to sleep, after my prayers, I just wonder why I have to be here instead of there.

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up to the sound of the alarm ringing at eight thirty a.m. For someone who likes to sleep in late, this is not a good thing. Believe me. I grabbed my second pair of jeans and a new top with a few holes in it. Then I wandered down the stairs to see why we had to be up so early. The parents weren't getting ready for work, so I guessed they must have taken time off cause of me. Harm was standing at the stove making something that looked like pancakes but a different color, like wheat bread, while Mac stood at the toaster with waffles and loaded butter and syrup onto them. I laughed inwardly at the choices of this family.

Mac looked up after handing Austin his waffles and Sydney her healthy pancakes. "Which would you prefer? Health food like Harm," she said with a wrinkled nose, "Or waffles with syrup?" she asked as Harm threw a glance as if to tell me to take the pancakes. 

"Uh, I don't know. I'll try the waffles I guess." She threw Harm a glance back, something that I could read as she chose my food.

"Mac…" he complained. "Trying to ruin Jessi's habits when she could be healthy."

"She could use it. Let her eat what she wants," she said as he came over and kissed her quickly on the lips.

I grimaced as did Sydney and Austin. "Get a room, please," he said aloud as a giggle escaped my lips. I immediately turned my lips back to a plain line. We all sat down and I stayed as silent as possible. I didn't really want to play tricks on these people. They seemed too nice. 

"Jessi, today we're going school shopping, and I'd like to get you some new things."

"I don't have any money," I muttered.

"Well, you're not paying for it, so you don't need any."

"You're going to buy me clothes? I'm not even your kid," I said incredulously.

Both Sydney and Austin turned silent at this. "You are not our biological child, but you are in our house and while you are with us, you're our child," said Harm firmly.

I glared at him. Nobody tells me what to do. I ran up to my room and threw myself down on the bed. I grabbed my picture of my mother and father and hugged it tightly, but I wouldn't cry. I couldn't cry. It was a girly thing to do. So why was my cheek all wet? It wasn't like he was being like that on purpose. I suddenly felt a hand on my back. I whipped around to see Mac standing next to my bed. "What are you doing?" I yelled. "Get out, this is my room!"

She didn't move, just stood there looking at me. "Look, Jessi, you will always have your parents. But while you are here, you're our responsibility. We will never be your biological parents, but we will always be here for you," she said kindly.

"I don't need you or my parents! All I need is me!" I yelled at her, then finally I couldn't take it. I lay back down on my bed and sobbed. I just wanted to be left alone, and I just wanted somebody to love me, but not with pity. I didn't want to be their daughter; I wanted to be my parent's daughter.

For once, Mac looked unsure as I peeked out to see her reaction. Finally, she sat down next to me and placed a hand on my back again and rubbed comfortingly. And this time I didn't pull away.

We went to the store that afternoon. We had stopped for lunch and then at the mall. Mac took Sydney and I into a few stores to pick out a few skirts, shirts, jeans, and dresses while Harm took Austin to get his boy stuff. When we finished, I looked actually like a girl. I was wearing my new red shirt with little buttons and a pair of flare jeans that Mac had picked out for me. Sydney looked cute too. With that afternoon, we could have actually been sisters. But the minute we hit home, it hit me again and I became silent. I trudged up to my bedroom and put on the new pajamas Mac had bought, saying I needed new pajamas because my other ones were dirty and full of holes, plus about three sizes too small. I had more clothes that afternoon than in my entire life.

I lay down after putting things away and eating dinner with them. I opened the book I had picked off Miss Grant's shelf. It turned out to be a really good book, at least for the first five chapters. Before long, I heard them down the hall tucking in Syd and Austin, and I wondered if, after all that I had done to them today, they'd come tuck me in. And they did. They peeked through my door first, and then Mac came over to my bed and pulled my covers up. I could smell her perfume as she took my book and put it on my bed-stand. Then she smiled at me, like it seemed my mother would have done a long time ago, and the Harm smiled too. They left my room quietly, and even though I was already ten, it felt nice to be tucked in. And I decided I would let her do it if she wanted to.

In the middle of the night I woke up screaming. I must have been having the nightmare again because I was crying really hard when I woke up. My heart hurt really bad, which is kind of hard to explain, but I felt so alone and so scared. I never let myself be scared because it would mean I'm girly, and I could never be girlish. But I was terrified that I would be all alone…until Mac walked through the door in her robe. I glanced up at her and hiccuped.

She smiled at me and then found her way over to my bed. "You okay?" she asked.

"Y…yeah," I said as I hiccuped again.

"Water?" she asked as she handed me a small glass.

I found myself accepting the water from her. I smiled a small smile and then handed it back. She pulled my covers back up and then told me to sleep well before walking out of the room. 

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, apparently the parents weren't off anymore, because when the early alarm went off, Sydney came rushing into my room to tell me we had to get ready to go to Aunt Harriet and Uncle Bud's house. "Who?"

"Aunt Harriet and Uncle Bud," she said exasperatingly.

"And what do we do there?"

"We play with A.J. and Janna and David."

"How old are these people?"

"A.J. is thirteen, he plays with Austin. Janna is nine, and David is six. Janna is so nice. You'll like her."

"And we have to spend all day there?"

"Of course. Aunt Harriet will love you, don't worry."

Just then Austin came through the door to yell at us to hurry up. "I wanna get over there to play football with A.J. Let's hurry it up girls."

Syd stuck her tongue out at him and continued to play with her hair looking in my mirror. He left and I finished putting my new clothes and hair things on. When Syd and I went down the stairs, I saw the parents, and that freaked me out big time. Mac was wearing this weird green outfit. I guessed it was for JAG and her being a marine and all. Meanwhile, Harm was wearing a white colored shirt and pants. I raised my eyebrows again and looked at them funny.

Harm laughed at my reaction. "Totally opposite, I know. What a pair we make."

I grinned now. "Yup."

"Ready to go now?" he asked as he looked to see who else was ready.

"Yeah. What do I take with me?"

"Anything you want. Harriet works full time, but she took this week off to be able to watch you guys. A book might be good because it does get kind of wild over there."

I nodded. It didn't sound like Harriet's house was going to be fun. And I still wouldn't be the oldest. They drove us over to the house and then introduced me to everybody. Harriet was blond and pretty but she seemed nice enough. Bud was a different case. He looked worried. I didn't think I'd like him. The kids were interesting. A.J. was really tall and kinda nice. He didn't look like Bud though. He looked sort of like Harriet, but not really. Janna, however, was a different story. She was very pretty, and she seemed nice like Harriet. And David was the absolute cutest little boy. He was wearing a little Santa's hat, even though Christmas was something like four months away.

Janna took Syd and I up to her room after the parents and Bud left. I wandered around her room for a while. She was really pretty, but she was not in any way interested in girly things. The first thing we did was go see if the boys would let us play football with them. Austin and A.J. didn't look terribly happy, but once they found out I used to be on a team, they let all three of us play, and David played as the referee.

"Hey guys, come on in," yelled Harriet.

All six of us came running into the house, although we were sweaty. "What's up mom?" asked A.J. as I wished it could have been my mother and I saying those words. I had sort of forgotten up until then that it was only my third day at a new foster home.

Harriet told us all to go get plates after we washed up and then we sat down to eat sandwiches. After we ate, we went back out to play for a while. Before we knew it, it was four in the afternoon and the parents were supposed to be back at five.

Us girls went back to Janna's room to talk. "When do we start school anyway?" I asked, but only because I felt very comfortable with Janna and Syd.

"Next Monday. We only have a day left on break plus the weekend and then we go to school."

I groaned. Already had to be back in school when I didn't even know the people I was going with? I didn't like going to school anyway, because I never felt comfortable. I could do the work, but the kids always teased me for either being a troublemaker or a goody-goody. 

Janna was staring at me and so was Syd. "What?"

"I asked you what grade are you in?"

"I'm starting fifth grade cause I just turned ten a few months ago."

"I'm going into third," said Syd.

"I know," I said sarcastically.

"Fourth here," said Janna. "But they have mixed fourth and fifth for the smart groups. I'm in a smart group this year. What about you?"

"Dunno. I used to get A's and B's, but different schools and stuff…"

"Maybe we'll be in the same group then. I'll introduce you to all my friends. They'll like you for sure!" exclaimed Janna.

Suddenly it felt very hot in the room. I started to get a homesick and uncomfortable feeling. The problem was, I couldn't fix it this time. This place and the parents' house were not home for me. The only place I really could have called home was when I lived with the Robins. I lived with them for two years, the longest I've ever been in a good home. They were going to adopt me, as well as my best friend who, since she was my age, they took too. But then my mother had to come into my life and reel me back in. When she did at first, I was really excited to be getting my real mother back. But soon that went wrong and I wanted to go back to the Robins. Instead of letting me go back there, Miss Grant tried to arrange another place for me to live. And when that didn't work out, it was too late to go back to the Robins. So I ended up being bounced around.

I finally looked up at Janna and Syd. "Yeah, that, uh, might be good." 

"Know what I wanna do?" asked Syd. "I think we should go downstairs and ask your mom to tell us stories about my mom and dad before they were married."

I looked at her strangely. What in the world was she talking about? I'd never heard any stories about my parents. Heck, I'd never heard any real stories except in books, and even then, those were things like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. "What kind of stories? I mean, what did your parents do before they were married?"

"They did so much exciting stuff before they were married. Actually, we don't need mom to tell us, Syd and I know the stories good enough to tell you one."

"Alright, I'm interested. Is this like mushy stuff though? I mean, were they boyfriend and girlfriend before?"

"That's the best part. They didn't get involved until after like six or seven years as partners. And they _almost_ lost each other too."

"Almost?" I questioned.

"Yeah," Syd said with excitement. "Mom and dad told them to us for bedtime stories if we were good sometimes too. But you'll like them. So you wanna hear one?" 

"I guess so. Start talking," I said while trying to keep from sounding too excited.

"Okay, let me think about what would be a good one. I know, I'll tell you one for bedtime tonight too! But right now we'll tell you the one about when daddy left mom at JAG to go flying."

"That sounds fake," I said as I wrinkled my nose, which was a habit even though it made my freckles stand out even worse.

"Well it isn't," defended Syd. "It's all true. Even ask mom and dad."

"Alright, alright," I started to say. But before Syd could continue, I heard the door open and the parents come in. I could hear David shouting, "Uncle Harm, Uncle Harm," and A.J's voice seemed a little more uplifted too. Janna and Syd looked at each other before running down the stairs, leaving me to my own devices. I stood at her window for a couple more minutes, unsure of whether to join in like part of the family or to stay put. Apparently, it was decided for me when David came running up and took my hand. "Come on Jessi," he shouted as he yanked me towards the stairs. I followed him down as we went to the front door to meet the parents.

They both smiled at me, as did Harriet. Suddenly, I felt more than a little out of place. I ran out to their car and got in quickly, without saying goodbye. I could see the parents' apologetic looks and instead of feeling ashamed, I felt angry. I sulked the entire way home and into my bedroom. Wasn't home and it wasn't gonna feel like it ever. 


	5. Chapter 5

I spent the next day at 'Aunt Harriet's' house with the rest of the kids. I refused to play though. They just didn't understand me at all. So I decided to make things easy for them by staying out of their way. And when the parents finally came to pick us up, nobody was even really talking to me. I had watched the rest of them playing games outside cause it was so nice, but I stayed inside and took a nap for lack of anything better to do.

Only David seemed to really notice I was there. He and I were kind of alike, since Syd had actually told me he was adopted when he was a baby. It wasn't a secret or anything. But he was like me, freckles and skinnier than other kids his age. His hair wasn't exactly blondish red, but more blond. But if you forgot that difference, we really matched.

He came over to me and asked me to read to him while I was lounging on the couch and the other kids were outside. I agreed and we spent a few hours just reading small books. I was surprised at how good a reader David was for a kid his age. Once, during the two hours we were reading, I caught Harriet looking at us together with a strangle look on her face. It was almost like she was worried about my influence on him. But then her expression changed to a nice expression, like she was happy that I was paying attention to David. She was making me nervous.

I liked Janna and A.J. too, but they weren't like me. They had their parents. And even though David knew Harriet and Bud weren't his parents, he called them mom and dad. That was one difference between us. But a strange thought crossed my mind. I wondered what it would be like to call Mac mom or Harm dad. "No, no, no, no," I said aloud. "Stop thinking about that Jessi," I said firmly. Not my parents and I couldn't call them that.

****

Before I knew it, school was starting and I was going with Austin into the upper level classrooms. "Here's your class. Meet Syd and me after school at the fountain in the front. You gonna be okay?" he asked.

I smiled weakly. "Yup. I'll be fine." Right. What a lie. I was terrified of going into that classroom alone. New schools never did go over well with me. But the bell was about to ring, so I made sure to go straight in. 

"Hello. You must be…Jessica Rabb."

I froze. "Uh, um," I stuttered. "Just, uh, call me Jessi."

"Okay, Jessi. Why don't you take a seat in the first row, third seat." Not right in front, but close enough. I nodded.

I glanced around the room to see what the students looked like. Apparently I was in the smart group as Janna had called it, because right across the room, there was the blond haired girl I had met a few days before. She looked over at me and immediately smiled. "Hi Jessi," she called across the room. A few other girls glanced my direction and looked at me strangely. When they saw Janna's reaction to me however, they too smiled at me. When class began, the teacher introduced the new students. Luckily, I didn't have to stand up in front of them. 

The teacher handed out a new assignment right off the bat. Her name was Miss Whit and before long, she assigned groups too. I was in a group with Janna, another girl named Rachel, a boy named Jonathan, and a boy named Harrison. Harrison seemed the most likeable. He was a fifth grader, and he was really nice to me. By lunch, I had plenty of new friends, including Harrison and the kids from my group. I found myself enjoying school as much as I always had, and maybe even a little more. But soon, I managed to convince myself that I wouldn't be at the school too much longer.

TBC…


	6. Chapter 6

Time was really flying for me. Many weeks had passed since I had come to live with the Rabb's, and though I wasn't really comfortable with them, I was okay and gaining. Syd was really looking up to me, and Austin actually let me play football with him. And the parents…well, they were okay still. And I went over to Harriet's house as often as possible, just to see David and play with him. The parents even let me, for some reason that I didn't know. But all in all, I was actually warming up to my new home. So how was I supposed to know what was coming next for me? 

I had gotten up on a Saturday morning early, before the alarm even. Nobody else was up, so I went down the stairs and into the kitchen to get some breakfast. It was only about eight in the morning by the time I finished, so I sat down to watch TV in the living room. A few minutes later I heard the doorbell ring. I peeked through and saw that it was Miss Grant standing by the door, tapping her foot nervously. Her normally beautiful hair was definitely mussed from a night of no sleep, something I knew very well. I opened the door and caught sight of a few people standing by her car. "Miss Grant?" I asked.

"Hi Jessi…" she faltered.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"Honey, can I come in to explain?"

"Let me go wake the parents…uh, Mac and Harm."

She nodded and I ran up the stairs, skipping two at a time. "Mac, Harm," I said in a rush as I was out of breath. "Miss Grant is here and she wants to talk and I don't know why."

Mac looked up and then over at the clock. "We'll be right down," she said with a look I couldn't read. I ran back down the stairs and saw that the people by the car had stepped up closer to Miss Grant. When I finally caught sight of the woman and man, I opened my mouth wide and stared. It took only a second for my instincts to kick in, and when the woman reached out for me, I slammed the door in her face.

"Jessica, sweetie, please open the door."

"Only for Miss Grant," I said with coldness in my voice.

"If they step away, will you open the door?" asked Miss Grant.

"Of course I will."

"Alright." I opened the door a couple minutes later when Harm and Mac were standing beside me. When they saw my mother and stepfather, they too looked as shocked as I had. I clung to the door and stood in back of Mac as she began to talk with Miss Grant.

A few minutes later, Syd and Austin woke up and I was told to go play with them while the adults talked things over. I just knew that my mother wanted me back again and I also knew that I couldn't let her ruin another home for me already, not when I was just starting to get happy again.

By lunchtime, the adults had stopped talking and we were all having lunch together. My mother patted the seat next to her and said, "Why don't you come sit next to your mother?"

Mac and Miss Grant both turned away so they wouldn't have to see my discomfort. And I don't know what possessed me, but I said, "Okay," and then went to sit next to Mac. Everyone stared at me, especially my mother. She looked like she was about to get angry, because I recognized the look in her eyes that she used to always have. But then she said something under her breath and let things be.

I smiled at everyone before eating my sandwich quickly and then jumping up to go to the next room. Miss Grant followed me and sat me down for what I knew as the talk. "Jessi, honey, you probably know what I'm going to talk to you about. Your mother…uh, Miranda is here to take you back to live with her. I know you've been with her before and she left you back at my door, but she's changed, she really has."

"No she hasn't! Can't you see that she just wants to ruin my life? I don't want to live with her, cause I like it here. And I don't want to leave David behind either!"

Miss Grant looked very uncomfortable. "Uh, that's the second thing we need to talk about."

I looked at her suspiciously. "What about David?"

"I know Sydney told you he was adopted, but the truth is, he's still only their foster child. They haven't adopted him yet. And they didn't get him as a baby, they got him at two after his father and mother decided they couldn't handle him."

"And this matters because?" I asked sarcastically.

"Well, this isn't going to be easy, but David is your younger brother."

I sucked in a breath quickly and then glared at her. "You're lying."

"No, honey I'm not. Miranda wants him back as well and we've talked with the Rabb's about it already. I'm going to tell you this only because I think you need to know. They don't want to give you back because they would like to adopt you. And the same goes for the Robert's. They don't wish to give David back either."

My head was swimming with facts and lies and everything I had just learned. I was astounded that the parents really wanted to adopt me and angry that David was my little brother and I had never known. Things were tumbling out of my mouth like I didn't know how to talk. Suddenly, I couldn't talk anymore and I ran to my room with a new burst of speed, throwing myself on my bed as soon as I got there. 

No one came after me. I could hear the voices downstairs getting louder and angrier as they discussed me like I was a property or something, at least to my mother. I felt like I was more to the parents, maybe even like another daughter. The topic of David entered my mind as well. I was shocked that for the first time, I really wasn't an only child and I really was the oldest. What would happen to us, I didn't know. I just knew where I didn't want to be, and that was with my mother.

TBC…


	7. Chapter 7

I stayed in my room for I don't know how long just thinking and listening to the voices downstairs, both worried and angry. I couldn't help but compare my life at that present moment to the soap operas we used to watch on TV at the Jenson's house. I mean, who else did I know that had been raised in foster homes with a younger brother who, by coincidence, lived with a friend of your own foster soon to be adoptive parents? And whose mother had to come back every once in a while to ruin everything but never to love you?

I must have fallen asleep crying because when I felt a hand on my back, I jumped up and noticed my face was all wet with tears. I turned around to see Sydney standing beside my bed and Austin in the doorway. "They're still talking about you. They want to take you back to your mom's house with David. Uncle Bud and Aunt Harriet are here too now. But they left Janna and A.J. and David with a babysitter."

I nodded. Syd sat down next to me while Austin loitered in the doorway. "Come in, and shut the door so we can't hear them that loud."

Syd's lip trembled as she sat down right next to me and gave me a hug. A tear rolled down one of her red little cheeks as she said, "I don't want you to leave. You're my big sister," she cried.

I didn't really know what to say to her. So I just hugged her back and waited until she had finished crying. Meanwhile, Austin sat on the other side of her and both he and I tried to comfort Syd. He gave me a look that I read as a look that only a brother and sister would give each other, something to say that he too didn't want me to leave. "I'm sorry about your mom," he said in a quiet voice.

"Me too. I don't want to live with her," I said rather tonelessly.

"Mom and dad want you to stay too. They want to adopt you like Aunt Harriet wants to adopt David," Syd said once she had settled her sobs to lighter tears.

The door opened then and Miss Grant peeked in. "Jessi, honey, you're going to have to come with me, okay?"

"I don't want to go anywhere," I said as I clenched my teeth and prepared myself for a battle."

She held out her hand. "Come on, don't make this as hard as you made all the other ones. Just come with your ma…Miranda and me and we'll get this all settled in court when we can get a court date."

I shrank back from her and realized my stubbornness would make it seem even more like a soap opera, but I didn't care anymore. "No, I won't go with Miranda anymore. Not anymore."

"Jessi, don't make this hard on me."

I shrugged and held on tightly to the bed. Finally she sighed and came over to me. She reached out for me as I screamed in the highest pitch I had, which my friends used to tell me would practically make the glass break. She took my hands and started to pull me to the door. "Do I need to get some police out here?"

I kept right on screaming but I let her take me down the stairs. When we faced Mac and Harm however, I stopped screaming and just held on tightly to them. They both looked stricken, as did Syd and Austin at the top of the stairs. My mother tried to coax me out to the car with the promise of new toys or clothes, but I refused. Miss Grant again grabbed me around the waist and carried me to the door. And though I knew that most foster kids never call their parent's mom or dad, it just came out of my mouth. "Mom!" I cried as I tried to grab Mac's hand. "Daddy!" I screamed again as I did the same.

Mac tried to reach out for me as well, but Harm stopped her and made sure they both let Miss Grant take me, kicking and screaming, to the car. When she managed to keep me in the car, I stopped screaming and ignored them all though they tried to make conversation. Yeah, right, cause that's normal, so why not play it out to be?

They brought me to my mother's current living area, but I refused to get out of the car. After a half an hour of trying, Miss Grant was really ready to give up. So I ended up back at the group home with her for the night or until the judge could arrange things for a court date. I was very pleased with myself, in that I managed to stay away from my mom and new stepfather.

The next morning, I actually was allowed to sleep in late, but habit forced me up at nine o'clock, which was even late for me. I heard Miss Grant on the phone all morning with secretaries and sort so she could try to find out where I could be. So far David hadn't been taken from Harriet, the only thing I was actually glad for that particular morning. When Miss Grant finally spotted me in my pajamas, she suggested I go get dressed. She didn't look too mad at me when she said this, so I assumed she would be in an okay mood. She wasn't.

"Jessi, why couldn't you make things easy for yourself and the Rabb's? I am appalled at how you acted with yesterday's events. How can you expect David to look up to you when you act like that?"

I was actually ashamed when she said the last part, because I really wanted David to see me as a big sister to him, more than Janna even. I wasn't jealous of Janna; I just wanted David to know that I was his real sister. I hung my head somewhat while I listened to her lecture on and on about my attitude and how my mother really deserved a chance with us. I think I might have tuned her out when she got to the parts about my mother. It probably lasted a good hour or so before she would let me go get lunch with the rest of the kids.

After lunch, she was much happier though. "I got a court date set for a few weeks from now. The only question was where would you be staying. Since I would not like to witness what we went through yesterday and because technically you are the foster child of the Rabb's, you'll be allowed back there for the time until the ruling. And after the judge rules where you and David will go, I will not tolerate any bad behavior on your part. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am. And thank you," I said happily. "Will David be allowed to stay with Harriet and Bud until then?"

"For the same reason you'll be allowed at the Rabb's, he'll be staying there."

I did my little victory dance when I thought she wasn't watching, but she must have caught me from the corner of her eye because she smiled at me and then winked. I laughed a little too and then swung my red hair around my shoulders.

She took me back to their house that afternoon, which was actually almost dinnertime really. I was nervous because I had called them mom and dad, but they didn't mention it and neither did I. Syd hung on me like I'd been gone for a million years, and even Austin seemed glad to see me, if only to play football with. No one mentioned my screaming either, though I was sure it was to come at bedtime. I felt so grown up to be doing all these things when I was only ten and a mousy little girl with red hair and outstanding freckles. 

That night, Syd told me the first story of how Harm and Mac met before she went to bed. Since they decided that I had to go to school the next day because they wanted things to be as normal as possible, Syd and I had to go to sleep early. Austin stopped by my room too to give me one of his favorite footballs as a present. When Harm and Mac finally came to say goodnight, however, I knew we were in for a talk once I saw the looks on their faces.

"Jessi, we have to talk about some things before you go to sleep," said Harm in gentle voice.

"I know what we have to talk about. My screaming tantrum thing, David, mom, and who I'll live with after the judge decides. Does that cover everything?"

"Almost, but not quite. We'll start with that though. We don't need to talk about your tantrum because right now, I can understand how that feels. About David though, we already knew he was your brother when we took you in as our foster child. We had planned on having Miss Grant explain a few things for you, but your biological mother coming into the picture was not expected."

"So you only took me in because of David?" I asked, not noticing that she had purposely said biological mother, not mother.

"No. No," said Harm. "We wanted another child and we happened to find out about you through Miss Grant. We were told that you were difficult, but we also knew that since that runs in our family, you'd be the perfect little girl for us."

I would have cried if I hadn't been thinking so hard about everything else that was going on. "And now that Miranda is back, what'll happen in court?" I asked worriedly.

"Miranda wants custody of you and David now, but we're not sure the judge will give it to her. We're also petitioning to get custody and then we'd like to know if you would be okay with us adopting you into our family."

"You actually want me in your family after all the trouble I've caused?" I asked surprised and amused at the same time.

Harm and Mac both smiled at this. "Yes."

"But what'll happen to David?"

"Well, the judge will decide how to work out living arrangements. It's possible he'll be staying with Harriet and Bud. Otherwise, the judge may find a home for both of you together. I don't know for sure."

"I don't want us to leave our homes. I'd rather the judge leaves us where we are and then we'll visit each other and stuff."

"I don't know what'll happen. But we're glad to have you here, we want you to know that."

I smiled at this. "And you weren't mad that I accidentally called you mom and dad?" I asked, just because I had to bring it up.

"No. Whatever you want to call us is fine with us. Okay?"

"Kay. Thank you. Good night."

"Night."

I had been smiling more and more since I'd arrived at their house months ago and it was really starting to pay off. Looking in the mirror, I no longer saw a mousy person but a prettier one. And so I smiled again before I went to bed because my heart didn't hurt anymore. Because for probably only the second time in my life, I was truly happy.

TBC…

*I'll probably add another chapter or two to finish it off and I'll try to be quick about it. Thanks for the reviews!*


	8. Chapter 8

Author's notes: Okay, I lied. Looks like it'll take a few more chapters than this. Sorry, but thanks for reading and reviewing for me. I really appreciate it. I hope to be done with this in a few more chapters.

A few weeks passed like it had only been a couple of seconds. Before I knew it, I was heading into court with my newfound little brother and what I hoped to be my adopted family. The lawyer had told David and I that the first day was the only day we could go because the judge would be interviewing us that day. I wasn't sure about it really. I hadn't been inside many courtrooms because going into different foster homes didn't require going to court; all it required were outside dealings, at least to my knowledge. We weren't going to be allowed back after that first day because then the judge had to talk to all the adults and see evidence from the lawyers. But we were going to be allowed to go in the audience, I think that was what they called it anyway, on the last day when we could find out who was living with who. It was supposed to be a short hearing and we'd probably know within a couple of days.

So on the morning we went to court, David and I got dressed up real nicely. He wore one of the little boy suits that Harriet bought him. I had to explain to him what was going on, because truthfully I knew better than anyone what Miranda was doing. He seemed a little mad at me and I guess he thought I had told Miranda to come take us away. After I explained, he was really happy and giddy as he danced around me singing about something he'd learned in school.

But the morning of our interviews, I wasn't really prepared to see my mother, stepfather, and my biological family. It seemed as though my mother had brought all of the relatives I had never known about. Oh there was a grandmother, a grandfather, aunts, uncles, cousins, and step cousins all right. But the one person I really hadn't been prepared to see was a man that I hadn't seen since I was three. 

I didn't think I remembered him until I saw his face. I watched enchanted as he stood up behind the barriers and looked straight at us. It seemed like time must have stood still for those brief few moments. In an instant I could smell his scent and see every detail the same as the last time I had seen him. And I was only three that time, so I couldn't understand how he could be so familiar. I remembered suddenly that I had been wearing a pantsuit that had roses on it, and my auburn hair was in two little pigtails. He tugged on them silently as he looked at me again and then walked out our door, leaving only the scent of peppermint from the candy he had brought me.

In the few seconds that I passed him, I remembered all this, but I had no recollection of my mother ever being around. I finally turned my head after what seemed like it should have been about twenty minutes long but was really only a minute or less. David tugged on my hand to get me to move and I became embarrassed as I noticed all the people staring at me. The judge called David back first with Miss Grant to be present as well. He gave me one last sad look with his puppy dog eyes before he moved to step alongside Miss Grant into the back room.

I sat down with Mac numbly, still remembering the man sitting on the other side. I had known before this that there could be no way that David and I would be with Miranda, but this brought about something totally new and confusing. I had so many relatives that I couldn't count them all. And the possibility that I could end up with them? Better chance though they'd never seen me before in my life. I began to piece together how long I should have been with each home or my real family.

It appeared that maybe the first couple of years would be Miranda. Now, what about my biological father? Where and when did I ever stay with him, or was he with Miranda? And what about the other relatives? I was so confused; my head seemed to be spinning around with all the memories and information I was surrounded in. Had my father surrendered his rights to me so I could be adopted? And did that mean I was free to live with the Rabb's and become their legal daughter while David became Harriet and Bud's legal son? So many questions but I had no answers to them.

Mac whispered something to me, but I didn't hear her because I was still staring into space. My biological father stood again and it looked as though he was going to come over to see me, but instead he left the room. I couldn't tell if I was disappointed or glad that he had avoided me. Another memory washed over me as I remembered a small bathtub with a rubber duck inside. I had to have been inside as well because as everything went through in slow motion, I saw him standing next to it with a washcloth and a baby brush. A bump brought me rushing out of the memory. I turned to Harm and whispered, "What?"

He pointed up to Miss Grant as she came walking across the room with David. She helped him sit back down as she brought me in. "Jessi, the judge would like to talk with you now."

I nodded. I could feel the eyes of the entire room wash over me as I crossed the room in my little skirt of blue. I timidly stepped into the room and sat down in front of the judge. He was dressed in the traditional black robe that I saw on TV. "Sit down Jessi. I've been told you like to be called Jessi better than Jessica, am I right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, I would just like to ask you some questions about your multiple families." When I nodded, he continued. "Now, who do you think really is your family? And when I say this, I mean who do you think really should care for you and love you?"

"I, um…" I hated to admit to the fact I was scared, but they could tell. He smiled reassuringly as I got up my courage to continue. "I think I should have the Rabb's as my family."

He jotted something on his clipboard and then began asking more questions. "Why do you think this?"

"Well, I only remember a few things about Miranda and my biological father from when I was really little, like three. And after that, nobody wanted me until the Rabb's. They told me they love me."

"That's good. It's nice to have somebody love you. What do you remember about your mother when you lived with her when you were six years old? I see that you had a broken arm during that time as well."

"I got hurt. All I remember is her boyfriend at the time was really mean and Miranda didn't do a lot with me."

"Do you think she's changed based on meeting with her a few weeks ago?"

"I don't know. I didn't say a whole lot to her, but I don't think she has cause I don't think she ever will."

"That's okay. You're entitled to your opinions. Where do you think David should live? With you and the Rabb's, with Miranda, or with the Robert's?"

"I would love to have my brother around a lot, but he is good at the Robert's when I can visit him a lot. I never had a biological brother before, so I want him to live where he's best. And he likes Harriet as his mommy."

"Do you know your biological father, Nicholas?"

"Is that his name?" I asked curiously.

"Yes. What do you know about him or any of your other relatives?"

"Nothing really. I have a few memories of him, but nothing recent. Is he David's dad too?"

"Yes he is. Well, lets move on then. Let's talk about the Rabb's now."

"Kay."

"What do you think of them? How do you feel at their house?"

I knew the judge was trying to be really nice to me, but by that question, I was starting to feel like I was in a therapy session. Miss Grant knew it too. I could tell by the warning look on her face that I was to be polite and keep answering the questions while remaining well behaved. "Before I answer the question, I kind of need to go to the restroom."

"Okay, Miss Grant can take you. But make it quick, okay? I'll wait here for you," he said with a lopsided grin.

I was so relieved to be out of the room with all that pressure on me to answer the right way. I just had to make sure we could end up where we needed, which meant I needed to relax before I could answer him without shaking.

TBC…


	9. Chapter 9

Author's note: YAH! It's finished! I might consider doing another different story with the same characters, but I'd like you to review before I do anything. So review and tell me what you think.

I rested my head against the mirror in the bathroom so I could think about a few things. When I finally got the thoughts I needed, I went back out to find Miss Grant. We went back to the judge, who was still there, waiting patiently for me. "Okay Jessi. Now I need you to finish answering the questions and then you can be done with this."

"What do I think of the Rabb's? I think they're really cool people. Putting it simply, they're probably the second best thing that has ever happened to me. The first was a family I lived with until Miranda came back the first time. I refuse to live with her until she decides I don't belong with her and in the process hurts David too." I was getting all worked up, but I wasn't finished. "I finally have friends at school here who like me, a little sister who looks up to me, a younger brother living in a different household that also loves me, plus an older brother who'd play football with me whenever I want. And the best thing is that I have two parents there who love me like their own daughter, as they told me before tucking me in. I wouldn't dream of calling them mom and dad, but I'm now starting to like the sound of that. So I think the Rabb's are what I deserve to have, because that'll be a first for me."

The two of them stared at me as I finished and slumped in my chair. Why sit up straight anymore? I didn't see any need too. The judge finally cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows. "So you feel pretty strongly about them. I see what you're talking about. But, here's another question for you. Did you know that your father, uh, Nicholas, has said he feels about the same way about you? I know you haven't seen him since you were about three or so, but he'd like a chance to speak with you and David after I'm done."

I jerked myself up. "He what? Just wants to talk to us, huh? Whatever," I muttered angrily. This was my one chance for happiness and he was going to ruin it for me. And I didn't even know the guy.

"Well, before we bring David and Nick in, I have one more question for you. I've read about your less-than-pleasant attitude and temper from the past. Who do you think out of the families you have a choice of would help you control that best and give you the best chance for improvement?"

"It sounds like I'm trying to make sure I can go with the Rabb's," I commented, "But I really think that Mac, Harm, Sydney, and Austin are the best people."

He jotted some final notes and set them on the table in front of us. He motioned to Miss Grant, who then got up and opened the door to bring in David and Nicholas. David came through the door and when he spotted me, his face lit up. I almost felt sad that we wouldn't live in the same house together, but seeing how much he loved his other family too, I couldn't ask them to have him live with me just so I could be selfish and have him to myself. Then Nicholas stepped through the door and took a seat across from Miss Grant but only two chairs away from me. He smiled kindly and from the picture I had in my brain of him, he was a perfect match.

I shot him angry glares but made sure David couldn't see me. He didn't back down, just smiled and then looked at the judge. "So I guess I should start since I asked for this by special request? I'm going to start simple. My name is not on your birth certificates, either of you too, but DNA test proved you are my biological children. So basically, this means that I have never given up my rights as a father to the two of you."

My mouth dropped open wide. I knew what it meant immediately. It meant that he could take us no matter what we wanted. At least, until he did something wrong, which I was sure he would do. "No," I cried.

Miss Grant moved to my side and knelt down by my chair. She started to whisper about controlling my temper and he had more to talk about. Then she said that he wasn't sure about taking us. I turned away from here, but I didn't say anything else aloud, letting him continue. "Jessi, I know you think I'm being mean. I'm not trying to. But you are my daughter and David is my son legally."

I glared at him. "No kidding."

"Anyway, I'm not going to take you if that's not what you want. I want to do what's best for the two of you, so I'd like to give you a choice. There is one requirement to this however," he said as my look of immediate happiness vanished. "I want you to spend a little time with me, or at least write me letters no matter where you choose. I see that because of the mistakes Miranda and I have made, you two have had a very rough life and you really don't know who I am. So I'll understand if you choose another family over me, but I want to stay in contact with you, because whether you want to believe it or not, I love you and you will always be my children."

He had tears in his eyes as he finished talking. David and I too were almost crying. I couldn't believe he would let us do whatever we wanted, not what Miranda wanted. Then he continued as he choked back a sob. "I am the only reason that Miranda brought this lawsuit. She knew that I held the parental rights still and she wanted to use me to get you two back. I am so sorry for whatever happened to the two of you, but as of now, you'll never have to go through that again."

I was bawling, but I couldn't bring myself to give him a hug. It would have been too uncomfortable for me. David sat there, silently letting tear after tear roll down his cheek. I wasn't sure that he understood exactly what it meant, but by the way he was crying I was pretty sure he knew exactly what we were now going to be able to do. 

He didn't move from his spot as the judge began to ask us the last part. "Jessi, David, did you understand what Nicholas just said?" When we nodded, he kept going. "Then I'm going to ask you this. Do you agree to abide by Nicholas' rules?"

"Abide?" asked David.

"Follow," I whispered. "Yes."

"Yeah."

"Then I need to know, where do you think the two of you should live? And remember it has to be reasonable. Your foster families, Miranda, or Nicholas are your choices."

"I want to live with the Rabb's," I said shakily. "But I promise that I will write letters and visit when Miss Grant schedules us to visit you."

The judge wrote something on another form. Then he handed it over to Nick and finally he gave it to me. "We'll need the Rabb's to sign this, and your signature as well Jessi. With your actual name," he said as he winked at me.

I laughed through my tears as I took the paper to sign it. The judge then turned to David, whose little face was smudged with tears and his nose was all red. I hugged him tightly as his response to the question. "I wanna live with mommy and daddy and Janna and A.J."

They had him print his name on a separate form and then he turned to me proudly to show how good a job he had done. We hugged tightly again, holding on like we'd never let go. Miss Grant got up from her seat to go let the families in, and by that afternoon, papers were filed for the two of us to be adopted under the conditions Nicholas had assigned.

We walked out of the courthouse all holding hands. David and I were in the middle and our families stood on the opposite sides. He chattered all the way through the lunch Harm and Mac treated us all too, but for some reason, I didn't feel like talking. I was extremely happy and all, but I couldn't seem to get past the silence and bring myself to talk.

I kept thinking back over the memories I had of my father and mother, though I'd never admit aloud that I wanted their love too. I tried to put on a happy face, but I just had a feeling. It wasn't a bad feeling, but I think it was almost like homesickness from a home I'd never known. Sydney must have noticed me, because she came over to sit next to me in the restaurant. "Jessi, isn't it great? You're my big sister. You're a Rabb now!"

I hugged her and put on a smile. "Of course it is."

"Then what's wrong?"

"I'm just a little sad, that's all."

"Didn't everything turn out the way you wanted?"

"Yeah, it did. I'll be fine. I think if I go home, I'll feel better. Maybe I'll play with Shelby a little. That always makes me feel better," I said. Then I realized it. I was talking like I was Jessica Rabb, like I was a part of the family, and like I really belonged. 

I sat up straighter and felt more confident. I'd visit Nick and maybe even call him father one day, but never would he be my dad. My dad was Harm and my mom was Mac. I had Austin as an older brother and Sydney and David for younger siblings. Nick could help me fill in my past, but the Rabb's would fill my present.

When we reached home, I went straight to my room. Now that it was painted blue and had dolphin borders, it felt more like mine. I thought back to the night I had wished I were anywhere but here because they'd never want me. Now I knew they did. And now I know that I'm glad I'm _here_ and not there.

*End!*


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